A lot of my thoughts these days are circled around age and growing old.
It is rather surprising how much my thoughts have changed in a span of five years.
When I was younger, I thought of nothing but success. My mind and body were driven by ambitions coupled with a few daydreams here and there.
If you sat down and asked me questions about my parents, I probably won’t have much to say. Simply because I have taken them for granted.
I think a lot of us have. Maybe we didn’t use to, but at some point, we all change.
I have a vivid memory of my eldest brother sitting in the living room with me when I was 16/17. It was probably late at night because at that age I have the tendency to stay up all night living in the fantasy world created by JK Rowling, rereading the books again and again.
More than once, while my eldest brother came back during the weekends from college, he would sit with me and talk about our parents. Most of the time, I appeared uninterested and annoyed. I just wanted to read my books. But what he said stayed with me. He told me to be grateful of my parents. Despite arguments and attempted runaways from me, they have been through a lot to put us through school and support us financially for any endeavors we wish to take on.
But none of us can go against time and old age. We all grow old one day, and whether it’s going to be graceful or heart-breaking, we never know. I just hope it’s not going to be like the nightmares I used to have as a kid.
I used to cry myself to sleep knowing my parents will one day no longer be around when I was 7/8. I think that was when I began to understand life and death.