26

Whelp, here’s to me not being 25 anymore D:

Looking back, a lot have happened since 2009 – pursuing my studies abroad, finding my passion, falling out of love, exploring countries which I didn’t know their language, feeling at home and nostalgic in the mountains of Poland, falling in love, experiencing new cities on my own, meeting new people, being anxious over my career path, self-doubt, loneliness, regrets for not spending time with people who matter before they leave forever, feeling unsure about my decisions, feeling grateful for the times I was welcomed with wide-opened arms, bonding over pizzas in my mentor’s backyard, meeting new family members, saying the hardest goodbye to the person who mattered the most to me then, and coming home.

Things didn’t go quite as planned in the last few years since I got home. I missed a damn good opportunity, turned down a few to pursue other adventures, but I don’t regret any of my choices.

I gotta admit, this year has hit me the hardest and I’m grateful for the bunch of crazy people that will always have my back.

I may have strayed from my original path, but I made sure to learn something from my experiences and put them to use.

In 2015:

1. Common sense is not that common, really. I learn to stick to my principles and stand up for what I believe in. Even though the process may be slow, but I believe in doing things the right way and to see through it. And that I can’t right every wrong, especially when it’s not my wrong to fix.

2. Communication, even when it’s open communication, has a lot of layers to it. Humans are fickle-minded beings. I learn to care about only those that matter to me and to tune other things out. I can’t please everyone and the only person who can make myself happy is me.

3. My circle of friends have gotten smaller. I used to be the social butterfly, swinging from groups to groups. But this year, due to time and distance, I can’t simply split myself up. For those who manage to stick by me, even when my contact with you is sporadic, thank you. Thank you for still being my friend.

4. One step at a time. No matter how big the problem is, or how deep rooted it is, I can only do so much. Focus on the task ahead, and try not to think too far (thinking ahead is a good thing, but not always). Baby steps, Karuna. Baby steps.

5. Letting go. I thank you, for standing by me for the past five years. Things grew out of our control and they were no longer what I thought they would be in the beginning. I chose to let go and not drag it on for a few more years unsure whether the outcome is something that would be best for us. I wanted it to work out, but I couldn’t let go of my other responsibilities. Sorry for having to let you go the way I did. And thank you.

Here’s to another year ahead, and hopefully, I’ll be better.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s